ahmed dawood
14-Apr-2007, 10:24 AM
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
-Smart man + smart woman = romance
-Smart man + dumb woman = affair
-Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
-Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
-Smart boss + smart employee = profit
-Smart boss + dumb employee = production
-Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
-Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
-A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
-To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
-To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
-Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
-A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
-A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
-A woman has the last word in any argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
-Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
-They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
-Smart man + smart woman = romance
-Smart man + dumb woman = affair
-Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
-Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
-Smart boss + smart employee = profit
-Smart boss + dumb employee = production
-Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
-Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
-A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
-To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
-To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
-Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
-A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
-A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
-A woman has the last word in any argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
-Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
-They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.