المساعد الشخصي الرقمي

مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : Applicant Speak: what they say and what they mean by it


ahmed dawood
14-Apr-2007, 10:27 AM
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1. I know how to deal with stressful situations:
I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.

2. I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication & organizational skills:
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

3. I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization:
I've used Microsoft Office.

4. My pertinent work experience includes:
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

5. I take pride in my work:
I blame others for my mistakes.

6. I'm balanced and centered:
I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom.

7. I have a sense of humor:
I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.

8. I'm willing to relocate:
As I leave San Quentin, anywhere's better.

9. I'm extremely professional:
I carry a Day-Timer.

10. My background and skills match your requirements:
You're probably looking for someone more experienced.

11. I am adaptable:
I've changed jobs a lot.

12. I am on the go:
I'm never at my desk.

13. I'm highly motivated to succeed:
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.

14. I have formal training:
I'm a college dropout.

15. I interact well with co-workers:
I've been accused of sexual harassment.

16. Thank you for your time and consideration:
Wait! Don't throw me away!